16) Starman (1984)

(3 's out of 5)

"Please come and visit our planet Earth!" 

Director

John Carpenter

Cast
Jeff Bridges - Scott Hayden / Star Man
Karen Allen - Jenny Hayden
Charles Martin Smith - Mark Shermin
Richard Jaeckel - George Fox
Robert Phalen - Major Bell
Tony Edwards - Sergeant Lemon
John Walter Davis - Brad Heinmuller
Ted White - Deer Hunter


If our government... heck, if several governments around the world got together and sent a message into the vast spaces of space inviting whomever is out there to come visit Earth, and someone from another planet accepted that invitation and showed up, these governments would probably welcome them with a lot of firepower. If aliens are visiting us, that's probably why they do so cautiously and secretly. Such a global welcome wagon doesn't seem far-fetched and alies are too smart to put it past us.

On a personal note, I've unwittingly focused on sci-fi movies about charming and likeable aliens released during the 1980s in my last few reviews. Maybe I ought to toss in a few movies with hostile aliens trying to take over Earth and ruin everyone's good time. Remember in "Ghostbusters II" when Dr. Venkman (Bill Murray's character) said, "And that is the whole problem with aliens, is you just can't trust them. Occasionally you meet a nice one: Starman, E.T. But usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard!"

John Carpenter's 1986 sci-fi romance "Starman" is a movie that pops up in conversation from time to time. Not often but comes up.  

In this movie, Marion Ravenwood from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and...uhh... the last two Indiana Jones movies, "Crystal Skull" and "Dial of...weak characters," hooks up with "the Dude" from "The Big Lebowski" who's actually an alien from Alienland. 

In 1977, in "Starman" time, a space probe is launched carrying a gold LP. That's a record for anyone who has no idea what an LP is. This record has a message inviting any alien civilizations with record players that might exist out there to come visit Earth. 

Well, an alien civilization picks up the invitation and accepts the offer.

Karen Allen and Jeff Bridges in "Starman."

So, they send a scout to Earth to see if it's safe to visit and worth their time, because these aliens aren't stupid. To nobody's surprise, the U.S. Government shoots down the alien scout spacecraft, which was sent to make contact with earthlings. 

The ship crashes somewhere in Wisconsin. 

The alien scout, which looks like a ball of glowing energy, makes its way into the home of Jenny Hayden (Karen Allen). She's a widow living on her own.

While she's asleep, it rummages through some photo albums of her late husband Scott (Jeff Bridges). She keeps a lock of his hair in her album. The alien extracts some of her husband's DNA from that lock of hair, and is able to take his form. 

Jenny witnesses the alien's quick development from baby to grown man right in her own living room. Once the shock where's off, she thinks this thing that looks just like her deceased husband  must be hostile. So, she tries to escape.

The only English this alien knows is what he and his race heard from the message sent by the government. 

He doesn't know how to ask Jenny to drive him from Wisconsin to a rendezvous point in Arizona to meet up with the head ship his people are sending to pick him up. He only has a few days to meet up with them, or they'll ditch him and he'll die. 

Jenny thinks he's kidnapping her and forcing her to drive him to Barringer Crater in Arizona. He finally reveals to Jenny that he means no harm, and is really a friendly entity. He's here to observe.

National Security Agency director George Fox (Richard Jaeckel) is able to determine that the spaceman's ship was initially heading to the Barringer Crater before being shot down. So, he sends scientist Mark Shermin (Charles Martin Smith), who helped develop the original invitation, to find the spaceman and capture him on behalf of the U.S. Government. 

Shermin manages to figure out that the spaceman is disguised as a human, and that he and Jenny are travelling across the U.S. towards Arizona.

Meanwhile, as Jenny and the Starman drive day and night to get to Arizona, the spaceman closely observes how people of Earth behave. He also has special alien powers, like the power of healing and reviving dead things. 

As expected, Jenny falls in love with him, which is understandable considering he's a clone of her deceased husband! The Starman, meanwhile, is a kind-hearted loveable alien who just wants to see how people on Earth behave, and do good things along the way, like revive a dead deer.

I have to take some points off for a weird sex scene that's presented as charming. Since the alien is basically a clone of Scott, he and Jenny have sex on board a box car. And afterwards, he tells her, "I gave you a baby tonight." It's awkward!

Earlier, Jenny told the alien she and Scott had tried to have a baby but couldn't due to medical issues.

So, since he has Scott's DNA, he says the baby is from both himself and from Scott's. The baby will have his huge alien intellect and special alien powers. It's creepy and anything but touching. 

Jeff Bridges doing weird alien things in "Starman."

Anyways, "Starman" is basically E.T. turned science fiction romance. The main character comes to Earth for a visit (like aliens tend to do) and then has to get back home quickly. 

The movie could easily go into the realm of being a silly fish-out-of-water flick, but it doesn't. It narrows things down between two characters and makes them interesting and memorable. It's a more personable and relatable film, with some feel-good elements. I'm not referring to that weird sex scene.  

How Karen Allen could maintain a straight face working alongside Jeff Bridges as he delivers his lines like he's impersonating an dubbed monster movie while moving his head like a timid canary deserves a round of applause. 

Director John Carpenter needs no introduction. He's directed some fantastic and popular movies. Carpenter is a legend in the realm of horror and sci-fi.  

I've mostly seen his horror movies, which is what Carpenter is best known for - "Halloween," "Christine," "In the Mouth of Madness," and "The Fog" to name a few titles, his science fiction movies don't normally go the route of romance. "The Thing," "They Live," and "Village of the Damned" are certainly not light-hearted feel-good sci-fi flicks. 

His 1992 comedy-drama "Memoirs of the Invisible Man" with Chevy Chase and Daryl Hannah, which I watched over 20 years ago, might be considered a bit similar to the kind of story "Starman" is as far as its romance is concerned. Carpenter's style is something I'm eager to dig into and discuss at some point. That'll be another post at another time. 

Until then, there's one or two more friendly alien movies from the 80s I plan to get to. Whether I do them next, or avert my attention to the hostile aliens, I haven't decided yet. 

15) Flight of the Navigator (1986)

(4.5 's out of 5)

"Compliance!" 

Director

Randal Kleiser

Cast

Joey Cramer - David Freeman
Veronica Cartwright - Helen Freeman
Cliff DeYoung - Bill Freeman
Sarah Jessica Parker - Carolyn McAdams
Matt Adler - Jeff Freeman (16 years old)

Albie Whitaker - Jeff Freeman (8 years old)
Howard Hesseman - Dr. Louis Faraday
Paul Mall (aka Paul Reubens) - voice of Max 

Disney's 1986 sci-fi adventure film, "Flight of the Navigator" is a movie I loved in my youth. 

I had the impression it was a movie not too many people noticed. If that was the case years ago, it seems to have been pulled from the ranks of minor obscurity where a number of Disney movies from the 1980s remain. It is a much appreciated and fondly remembered movie now, looked fondly upon with nostalgia. 

That certainly isn't the case with some of their other movies which Disney probably wants to keep hidden under the secretive Disney vault rug such as "Midnight Madness," and "The Devil and Max Devil" which I've mentioned before. 

The story begins in 1978, in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., as 12-year-old David Freeman (Joey Cramer) and his family are set to celebrate July 4th on their boat out in the water where they'll shoot off some fireworks. 

David has to go fetch his kid brother, Jeff (Albie Whitaker) at his friend's house. 

Walking through a wooded area, Jeff scares him by jumping out of a tree and then runs home. Before going home himself, David peers into a ravine, falls in and is knocked unconscious. 

Joey Cramer as David in "Flight of the Navigator."

When he wakes up and returns home, someone else is living in his house. His own family is nowhere to be found. 

David doesn't know that the year is 1986 and that he has been missing for eight years. 

When police reunite him with his family, he's shocked to find his family has aged, but he's still 12. His younger brother, Jeff, is now older than David. 

Meanwhile, an alien ship crashes into some power lines. NASA confiscates the ship and brings it back to the space center in Florida. 

While in the hospital for observation, doctors notice his brain wave patterns are creating images that match the design of the downed space craft. His brain is also filled with star charts.  

Dr. Louis Faraday (Howard Hesseman) over at NASA is told about the images coming out of David's head. He persuades David's parents to allow their son to spend 48-hours at NASA for observations, promising them he'll get answers as to where David has been the last eight years, and why he hasn't aged a day. 

By examining David's brain waves, Dr. Faraday and other NASA scientists deduce that the boy was taken to the planet Phaelon 560 light years from Earth. 

To get there, the ship travelled faster than the speed of light for over two hours. Time passed slowly on Earth causing everyone to age normally. For David, the trip was only a couple hours causing him to barely age at all. 

Faraday is going to need to break his 48-hour promise and keep David there longer.

The ship starts to telepathically communicate with David. 

He manages to sneak out of his room at NASA, thanks to the help of NASA intern Carolyn McAdams (Sarah Jessica Parker - yeah, she's in this), make his way to the hanger where the ship is being kept, and sneak onboard. 

David meets the ship's robotic commander (voiced by Paul Reubens, aka Pee-Wee Herman, who is credited as Paul Mall), which introduces itself as a Trimaxion Drone Ship. David calls the robot commander "Max" for short. 
And Max makes David the navigator. 

Max says that since humans use only 10 percent of their brains, he took David aboard to keep additional information needed for an experimental project inside his brain. Max has been travelling the spans of the galaxy to collect specimens from other planets. 

David agrees to undergo a mind transfer so Max can collect the information in his head. This introduces Max to human emotion and behavior. 

The two travel around the world, and out into space, as David tries to get back to his family.  

He wants to return to his own time when he was picked up. But Max thinks going back into time could prove deadly. 

"Flight of the Navigator" starts off on a serious, dramatic tone and then shifts into an adventure. 

It glides along the realm of goofiness, especially when Max transfers information from David's mind and starts speaking like Pee-Wee Herman. 

David also adopts one of the alien species called a Pukemaron collected on board the ship as his own personal pet/ sidekick. There's also a music sequence with "I Get Around" by the Beach Boys which might have been hip, or rad, or cool back in the 1980s. It's a sequence that didn't age well. Cheesy! But I'm happy to look past all that.

Thankfully, the silliness knows when to say when. In other words, the silly factor doesn't overstay its welcome. It entertains the kids in the audience for as long as it needs to, and then jumps back into the serious mode it needs. 

Joey Cramer gives a respectable performance. This works especially when his world is changed drastically completely at random, and he cannot wrap his head around why his life has changed. 

He makes David a sympathetic, memorable and very likeable character. It doesn't surprise me that fans of the movie have flocked to him at conventions and appearances all these years later.  

It's a well-performed fun family movie with decent special effects and a tight theme on the importance of family.

I don't know if "Flight of the Navigator" was an obscure sci-fi movie. Like a lot of movies from the same decade, it has since had a resurgence among nostalgic fans thanks to its inclusion on the streaming app, Disney+ as well as the 2020 documentary, "Life After the Navigator."

The "Trimaxion Drone" ship from "Flight of the Navigator" on
display at Hollywood Studios in Walt Disney World.

photo by Mike Sellman

Joey Cramer had a fall from grace after various arrests including one in 2016 in connection with a bank robbery up in Canada. But it looks as though he has amended his rough past and embraced the joy and thrill the now 38-year-old movie continues to give audiences. Kudos to Joey Cramer!

It's an innocent movie with a captivating plot. It's likeable. And like most off-the-radar movies, especially from Disney, "Flight of the Navigator" has its cult following. This following is well deserved.

Randal Kleiser has directed some favorited movies - "Grease," "The Blue Lagoon." "White Fang." and "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid." Not great films but enjoyed never-the-less. 

I give "Flight of the Navigator" a high rating due to its enjoyability, emotion, innocence, complexity alongside its simplicity, warmth, respectable special effects, and depictions of the importance of family. 

I recall seeing the Trimaxion Drone ship from "Flight of the Navigator" on the backlot tour at Disney World's Hollywood Studios back in 2014. I wondered if I was the only person on that tram who recognized it and knew where it was from. I'm sure I wasn't but I like to think I was. 

There has been chatter online about a reboot. Selfishly, I want "Flight of the Navigator" to remain that smaller innocent film I enjoyed time and time again so many years ago. 

14) Cocoon (1985)

(4 's out of 5)

"They say if we go with them, we'll live forever."

Director

Ron Howard

Cast
Don Ameche - Art Selwyn
Wilford Brimley - Ben Luckett
Hume Cronyn - Joe Finley
Brian Dennehy - Walter
Jack Gilford - Bernie Lefkowitz
Steve Guttenberg - Jack Bonner
Barret Oliver - David

Maureen Stapleton - Mary Luckett
Jessica Tandy - Alma Finley

Gwen Verdon - Bess McCarthy

The 1985 alien movie "Cocoon" is, I admit, another well-known sci-fi movie I haven't seen before in its entirety...until now. 

I recall this airing on television several times, but it never really piqued my interest enough to sit through it. 

Directed by Ron Howard, "Cocoon" includes a cast of A-list actors - Don Ameche, Wilford Brimley, Jessica Tandy, Maureen Stapleton. It's no obscure movie. It also stars Barret Oliver from that one well-known 80s movie..."D.A.R.Y.L.!" Oh, yeah... he was in "The NeverEnding Story." 

The story begins in a retirement home where a trio of old cusses, Art Selwyn (Don Ameche), Ben Luckett (Wilford Brimley), and Joe Finley (Hume Cronyn) often sneak into the big empty house next door for a dip in the indoor pool that's somehow still maintained.

Pretty soon, a small expedition team, lead by Walter (Brian Dennehy) rent the house, much to the disappointment of these old sneaks. 

Walter and his crew rent a boat from Jack Bonner (Steve Guttenberg) to recover some large, unusual rocks from the bottom of the ocean. 

What Jack doesn't know is that Walter and his crew are actually peaceful aliens from the planet Antarea, disguised as humans. And the rocks they're retrieving are Antarean cocoons that were left on Earth. 

Evidentially, the Antareans created an outpost at Atlantis 10,000 years ago. 

After Atlantis sank into the ocean, so did 20 cocoons with Antareans still developing inside. The other aliens left them behind. 

The Antareans keep the recovered cocoons in the swimming pool where the old guys sneak in for a dip. 

While on the boat with Walter and his crew, Jack peeps in on crew member Kitty (Tahnee Welch) through a hole in the cabin wall.

However, to his shock, she sheds her human disguise revealing she's actually an alien. 

Meanwhile, Joe, Ben and Arthur trespass into the pool with the cocoons stored in the water. They ignore them and take another dip. Little do they know that a life force emanates from the cocoons which gives the elderly men an invigoration and youthful energy the likes of which they haven't felt since their younger days. And, their respective ailments also disappear. 

Later, when back for a swim, the crew return early. The guys freak out and hide inside a storage closet in the pool house. 

Through slits the door, they witness the crew members shed their human disguises, revealing their true alien forms. And one of the aliens finds the guys hiding. They run out in a panic! 

After some time passes and the shock wears off, Ben apologizes to Walter and asks permission for himself and his pals to continue using the pool. 

Walter agrees only if they don't touch the cocoons and they don't tell anyone else about swimming in the pool, and how it's changing them. 

Of course, the other tenants in the retirement home notice how different Art, Ben and Joe have been acting. 

One of the retirement home residents, Bernie Lefkowitz (Jack Gilford) also notices and is bothered by the entire thing. The guys even take Bernie along for a swim, but he refuses to get into the pool. He insists that he and his wife have no need for feeling young, but would rather age gracefully.

Like Steven Spielberg's classic "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial," this alien flick is family oriented with warmth and likeability. It has memorable characters and a relatable message. 

This is the fourth movie Ron Howard directed, after "Splash" with Tom Hanks which came out the year before. 

I think Howard is the next best thing after Steven Spielberg. Howard's movies often remind me of something Spielberg would come up with. 

Howard can capture similar emotions Spielberg often does in his movies - the drama, the warmth, the trepidation. Howard's line-up of movies covers a wide range of genres like Spielberg. And those movies can be huge blockbusters like "Apollo 13" or attention-grabbing like the recent "Hillbilly Elegy" from 2020.

"Cocoon" could easily be a Spielberg movie. But Howard is just inches from reaching the spectacular level Spielberg can.  

Wilford Brimley, Hume Cronyn, and Don Ameche in "Cocoon."

The basis of the movie reminds me a little of Stanley Kubrick's movie. "A Clockwork Orange." Where "A Clockwork Orange" deals with man's free will to choose good or evil versus the good of society, "Cocoon" depicts aging versus our desire to stay young. Though old age isn't for the weak-hearted, there's no reason to hide from it. 

I know that's a major leap comparing "Cocoon" with "A Clockwork Orange" as they're completely different movies. I think it's the way each movie uses a character to depict both sides of their respective stories. 

In "Cocoon" the tenants of the retirement home want to be young again. However, Bernie Lefkowitz insists he and the rest of them grow old as they're meant to. 

"Cocoon" is a unique extra-terrestrial movie. I think it should be on level with "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" though each of the movies are very different. 

Concept designer Ralph McQuarrie, who also worked on a variety of science fiction movies such as "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," "Battlestar Galactica," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and the original "Star Wars" movies, is the conceptual artist for "Cocoon." 

"Cocoon" runs a little heavy with its sentimentality, but the story is well balanced. It doesn't rely so much on the aliens as it does with the experiences the main characters are going through. 

It's a sci-fi version of the fountain of youth. And, thankfully, the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. It's an enjoyable, thoughtful family movie that leaves its audience with the understanding that perpetual youth is a mere fantasy, and that aging isn't necessarily something to run away from or disguise. 

It spawned a sequel, "Cocoon: The Return," in 1988 which received negative reviews. I'll get to that soon enough...reluctantly. 

13) Explorers (1985)

(2out of 5)

"We're going where no man has gone before."

Director

Joe Dante

Cast
Ethan Hawke - Ben Crandall
River Phoenix - Wolfgang Müller
Jason Presson - Darren Woods
Amanda Peterson - Lori Swenson
Bobby Fite - Steve Jackson
Dana Ivey - Mrs. Müller
James Cromwell - Mr. Müller
Robert Picardo - Starkiller, Wak, and Wak and Neek's Father
Dick Miller - Charlie Drake

A sizeable handful of 80s and 90s movies have Joe Dante's name attached to them.

His movies have passed on through the tunnel of pop culture with seemingly flying colors, landing gracefully into modern times where they're enjoyed with nostalgic glee.

Dante directed "Gremlins" and "Gremlins 2: The New Batch," as well as "The Howling" "InnerSpace" (which I'm trying to get my hands on so I can comment on it here), and "Small Soldiers" among other popular titles. 

But his movie 1985 sci-fi adventure "Explorers" doesn't quite seem to reach the same lofty nostalgic heights of wide-range appreciation as some of his other movies. 

I only remember "Explorers" from seeing it on the rental shelf of my childhood video rental store, "California Video" back in the 90s. I've never watched it until a few days ago. 

Ethan Hawke, in his first big screen role, plays Ben Crandall - a teenage boy who is having a reoccurring dream where he's flying around in the sky until he's flying over a circuit board that resembles a city like something out of "TRON." 

He wakes up as the TV in his bedroom is still on, playing "War of the Worlds" from 1953. Classic! 

Right away, he scribbles the circuit board image he saw in his dream into his notebook..  

He can't wait to tell his friend, Wolfgang Muller (River Phoenix) about his vision. This is also Phoenix's first big screen appearance, by the way.

Wolfgang is a young genius who's interested in computers and science. You know... smart stuff.
Ben also has the hots for a girl in his class named Lori Swenson (Amanda Peterson). Like most boyhood crushes, Ben is preoccupied with the uncertainty of whether Lori likes him or not. Other than that, she serves no real purpose to the story outside of being the object of the main character's affection. 

Wolfgang and Ben invite Darren Woods (Jason Presson), a kid from their school, into their clique. 

Like most other 80s movies with child cliques, the boys are often bullied by the worst bullies imaginable. Darren helps Ben get out of near beating by the school bully, so he's in. 

River Phoenix, Ethan Hawke, and Jason Presson in "Explorers."

Once Ben shares his vision, Wolfgang jumps right into building some kind of computer microchip based on Ben's sketches. 

This newfound tech somehow generates a solid floating electromagnetic bubble. This zany bubble of his has the capability of travelling great distances at high rates of speed. 

Wolfgang observes that it's unhindered by inertia. The possibilities are limitless as to what they can do with this free-floating bubble technology. It can surely take them places where they otherwise can never get to...like outer space!

Darren manages to sneak Wolfgang and Ben into a junk yard where the boys help themselves to parts, including a car from a carnival ride. 

Together, they build a space craft which they name "Thunder Road" after Bruce Springsteen's song. 

Later, Ben has more dreams about flying through the sky towards a massive circuit board. And Wolfgang meanwhile creates a device to produce unlimited oxygen. 

With all these amazing scientific breakthroughs, the three boys come up with a plan to explore space and search for alien life. 

Their test flights take them all around above their town. Of course, they crash into things like the local drive-in. They're also spotted by police flying in a police helicopter. One of these local officers in the copter, Charlie Drake (Dick Miller), sees one of the child-pilots and thinks he's an alien. 

This close encounter spurs Drake to investigate this "UFO." He finds their ship hidden in a ravine and realizes it's clearly the work of kids. This somehow means something to him, reminding him of something from his past. 

The boys finally launch their ship into space - the final frontier. 

While cruising around in space, their picked up by an alien ship somewhere far away from Earth. After exploring the unusual spaceship, they meet some of the aliens who inform them that everything they know about Earth, they've picked up through television signals. 

There are some well-known names in this movie. To begin with, it stars Dick Miller and Robert Picardo. These two have appeared together in some of Dante's other movies. Both are in "Gremlins 2," "InnerSpace," and "The Burbs" which stars Tom Hanks. 

Dick Miller, a veteran actor, was also in the first "Gremlins" as well as "Matinee," "Small Soldiers" and several more recent Dante movies. 

There's even a 2014 documentary about him called "That Guy Dick Miller." He's been in a large number of Roger Corman movies as well, including "Little Shop of Horrors." Miller is an absolute legend in my book. 

Aside from these guys, and not to mention the young River Phoenix and Ethan Hawke, there's more big

names associated with this picture. Composer Jerry Goldsmith does the score. His tunes can be found in a ton of well-known movies and TV programs. 

Voice actor Frank Welker adds some voices in this movie. And my personal favorite detail, the name of the school in this movie is Charles M. Jones Junior High. Charles, as in Chuck, as in Chuck Jones, the animator. Looney Tunes fans know who he is! 

Chuck Jones has a cameo in "Gremlins" by the way. Otherwise, he's one of my favorite artists. In my book, he's as iconic as Norman Rockwell. And I love his work as much as that of Mort Drucker, Al Jaffee, Jack Davis, Angelo Torres, Sergio Aragonés and the eternally ever popular Don Martin. You know... the "usual gang of idiots!" 

Alright, enough fan boy-ing.

"Explorers" is a love letter to the sci-fi genre. It feels like a mix of "E.T: The Extra-Terrestrial," TRON," "The Goonies," and a hint of "The NeverEnding Story" mostly because of Ben's flying dream sequences. It also reminds me a little...just a little... of "Ghostbusters." The kids' personalities are similar to the personalities of the three initial ghostbusters from the first movie, which came out the year before. 

Wolfgang is a scientific whiz like Dr. Egon Spengler. Ben has a happy-go-lucky spunk and eagerness like Dr. Ray Stantz. And Darren has an unimpressed temperament like Dr. Peter Venkman.

"Explorers" came out the same year as another masterpiece of science fiction cinema, "Back to the Future." So, it had some rough competition in the theaters. Another popular sci-fi movie also came out that same year. I'll get to that one in my next review. 

There are dozens of science fiction movie references throughout this movie - "It Came from Outer Space," "This Island Earth," "War of the Worlds," "Star Trek" and of course the mother of all sci-fi flicks, "Star Wars." 

"Explorers" is a fun imaginative family adventure movie. It moves along nicely... until the kids make contact with aliens. And then it crash-lands from there. It goes from imaginative and fun to absurdly cartoonish, obnoxious, and irritating. 

The aliens they meet think earthlings communicate like way people present themselves on television - in cartoons, in gameshows, in news programs, and so on. Their nerve grinding contact with these absurd looking aliens drags out well past its welcome. 

And then the movie ends on an underwhelming note. 

At a screening of "Explorers" at the New Beverly Theater back in 2008, Dante said, "The problem for me is that the movie you'll see is not the movie I wanted to make. It's the movie I got to make up to a certain point and then had to stop. It's hard for me to look at it, cause it's not the film I quite had in mind." 

I can see that! It really shows. 

There must have been more backstory to Dick Miller's character. Unfortunately, it's built up and then remains unvisited. That subplot is a bit of a letdown.

Generally, Dante's movies are imaginative and relatable. They're creative and often have a lasting power. The fun Dante must have in making his movies shines through them. His stories are often adventurous without leaving the backyard (except for this, of course, since the kids are leaving their backyards for outer space). He manages to keep the elements simple though the stories have some complexities within. 

Still, "Explorers" is what it is. And what it is, is enjoyable...to a point. Watching it, my thoughts went from "this is pretty good" to "what the hell am I watching?" That's no exaggeration. 

I'm really curious to know what kind of movie Dante wanted to make. I know I've said this before about other movies, but if there's a movie that should get a remake, it's this one. And if that were to happen, I really hope Dante directs, and makes the "Explorers" he initially wanted to make. 

12) Rollerball (1975)

(3's out of 5)

"Understand it!"

Director

Norman Jewison

Cast
James Caan - Jonathan
John Houseman - Mr. Bartholomew
Maud Adams - Ella
John Beck - Moonpie
Moses Gunn - Cletus
Pamela Hensley - Mackie
Barbara Trentham - Daphne
John Normington - Ballard
Shane Rimmer - Rusty

Before there was "The Hunger Games," "The Maze Runner," "Squid Games" and even before Arnold Schwarzenegger was "The Running Man," there was "Rollerball." 

In fact, in the realm of dystopian sports movies, there's not too many before "Rollerball." The movie is based on the short story, "Roller Ball Murder" by William Harrison which was published in "Esquire" back in 1973. Harrison wrote the screenplay for this movie, which came out in 1975 - the same year another dystopian sports movie called "Death Race 2000" starring Sylvester Stallone and produced by Roger Corman was released. "Rollerball" is older by a few months. 

There were a few survival sports movies released before the 1970s. The earliest one I can think of is 1932's "The Most Dangerous Game." That was remade in 1942 with the title "A Game of Death." The 1961 horror movie "Bloodlust" about a young couple who's hunted by a deranged lunatic on a desert island has a similar premise. But these movies aren't really futuristic dystopian films like "Rollerball." 

Honestly, I never heard of "Rollerball" until I bought a copy of "Top 100 Sci-Fi Movies" by Gary Gerani. It's a wonderful companion for this blog, and the last book of his I needed to complete my set that includes, "Top 100 Fantasy Movies," "Top 100 Comic Book Movies," and my personal favorite, "Top 100 Horror Movies." 

In this movie, the future took place six years ago in 2018. James Caan plays Jonathan E., the captain and star player for the Houston rollerball team. In this movie's version of 2018, large corporations control society. So, that's not too far-fetched from current reality. Corporations have some much dominance that, before a rollerball game, fans stand to sing the corporate anthem instead of the National Anthem. 

Rollerball is a savage contact sport that looks like roller derby but involves beating opponents while trying to chase a metal ball around a rink, capturing it, and then throwing it into a hole for points. Anyways, Energy Corporation is one of those said ruling corporations, with Mr. Bartholomew (John Houseman) as acting chairman. Energy Corporation also sponsors the Houston team. 

Mr. Bartholomew tells Jonathan to announce his departure from rollerball. In return, he offers Jonathan a cushy lavish retirement. He instructs Jonathan to make this announcement during a televised special about his career in rollerball. 

It sounds like a sweet deal, but Jonathan refuses. Before the story begins, the corporation took his wife, Ella (Maud Adams) because one of the scummy executives wanted her for himself. 

So, obviously Jonathan is weary of the corporations. 

His friend and former coach, Cletus (Moses Gunn), who now works as an executive, is convinced that the powers-that-be within Energy Corporation are scared of Jonathan. But Cletus doesn't understand why that's the case. 

John Beck and James Caan in "Rollerball."

Meanwhile, the rules for rollerball are changed to make the game much more senseless and violent. The corporate execs make it that way as an attempt to get Jonathan to retire. These new rules are to be implemented immediately at the next game between Houston and Tokyo. This time, there will be limited substitutions and no penalties. 

The violence that's allowed in the game is turned up several notches as well. That way, the chance of Jonathan getting seriously hurt to the point of no return is greater than before. Jonathan isn't deterred. 

The violence is so bad that some of Jonathan's teammates are beaten to the point of death. His buddy, "Moonpie" (John Beck), is beaten on the cranium by three opponents during the game and left in a coma. 

After the Tokyo game, a bunch of unsympathetic executives along with Bartholomew decide the next game will be played with no penalties, substitutions or limits whatsoever. The idea is that this'll be Jonathan's final match as he'll surely die during the game. 

The executive powers think if Jonathan keeps playing, and continues exciting the fans, the greater the risk he poses in arousing thoughts of individuality among the controlled masses. 

As Bartholomew says, "The game was created to demonstrate the futility of individual effort."

Ella returns to Jonathan and tries to convince him to retire. She tells him that the next game against New York will be played to the death. Obviously, the executives set him up and are using Ella to get him to leave the game.

Regardless, Jonathan decides to play anyways. The game is an all-out free for all where anything goes. Jonathan just needs to play until the end. 

"Rollerball" has some Stanley Kubrick vibes to it. Thanks to its soundtrack, particularly Bach's "Toccata and Fugue" played in the opening, it feels a little like Kubrick's dystopian crime movie, "A Clockwork Orange." 

The dystopian feels are there with the deep corporate influence over society that demands allegiance while cramming the notion that individualism is a futile way of thinking. 

The story boils down to one man, disenchanted with the system, up against that system and then getting the better of it. 

It's eerily similar to our modern society. And it gets that point across with such ease.

There are so many lines of dialogue to consider. 

In a scene after the game at the beginning of the movie, Bartholomew and his hoard of suited up execs visit the locker room. Bartholomew, stiff necked and strutting his dominance, focuses some attention on Moonpie as he reclines. 

"Sweet dreams, Moonpie. That's a bad habit you've got there. You know what that habit will make you dream, Moonpie? You'll dream you're an executive. You'll have your hands on all the controls, and you will wear a gray suit, and you will make decisions. But you know what, Moonpie? You know what those executives dream about out there behind their desks? They dream they're great rollerballers. They dream they're Jonathan. They have muscles, they bash in faces."

One depiction that's particularly relevant is the corporate bosses attempts to erase history. This happens when Jonathan goes to a library to access a supercomputer known as "Zero" which stores digitized copies all books - heavily edited in accordance with executive ideologies. It's also a global source of all human knowledge. 

However, it turns out "Zero's" memory has mysteriously become corrupted. 

"The whole of the 13th century. Misplaced the computers, several conventional computers," the librarian tells Jonathan. "We can't find them. We're always moving things around, getting organized, my assistants and I. This - this is Zero's fault - Zero, he's the world's file cabinet. Pity, poor old 13th century....Now, we've lost those computers with all of the 13th century in them. Not much in the century, just Dante and a few corrupt Popes, but it's so distracting and annoying!"

Even with the overall decent writing, the only exciting parts of "Rollerball" are the actual rollerball scenes. There's barely any emotion in the talking scenes. It gets dull after a while, especially when sandwiched in between the high energy full-force sports scenes. 

James Caan, who was a fantastic actor with many memorable performances, and who is greatly missed, does well with what he's given. He delivers a character the audience can get behind and rally for. John Houseman, who's an actor that deserves much appreciation, also delivers a great performance and carries a lot of this movie on his shoulders. Houseman is like a poor man's Alfred Hitchcock. He has the voice and mannerisms for horror movies, and can use that same talent to be funny. 

Moses Gunn deserves recognition here. His name tends to randomly pop up in movies and television, and it gets my attention each time. No two of his performances are alike. It's no exception here in "Rollerball." 

Gunn has been in some of my favorite movies such as "The NeverEnding Story" and "Firestarter." I've seen him on "The Cosby Show" and on my favorite horror anthology series, "Tales from the Crypt." I've mentioned him before in a review I wrote on the TV movie "Bates Motel." I've never seen a performance from Gunn I didn't like. He also plays Booker T. Washington in the 1981 movie, "Ragtime" which I've been trying to get my hands on for a while as it's directed by "Amadeus" director, Miloš Forman.

Before I forget, Richard LeParmentier (Admiral Motti from "Star Wars" and Lt. Santino in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit") is in this movie, too. So, there's that. 

I'm being generous with my rating of 3 out of 5 flaming roller skates because of its cast, some of the dialogue, and John Houseman's performance 

Director Norman Jewison has directed some respected films such as "The Thomas Crown Affair," "Fiddler on the Roof," and "Moonstruck." Sadly, he passed away in January, 2024.

"Rollerball" tries to be a true thought-provoking flick, hoping to be taken seriously as a 'one man against the system' story. It has been a trope repeated so many times before and after. It works to some extent. Like I said, this movie is really only worthwhile when the actual game is on.

"Rollerball" was remade in 2022, which the Los Angeles Times called one of the most expensive box office flops of all time. I have no desire to watch it. Seeing the original film was good enough for me. As far as Gary Gerani's book...I guess "Rollerball" is among the top 100 sci-fi movies.  

11) SpaceCamp (1986)

(2.5 's out of 5)

"There's no room for mistakes. Every 'i' dotted, every 't' crossed. That's the way I learned it. That's the way you'll learn it."

Director

Harry Winer

Cast

Lea Thompson - Kathryn Fairly
Tate Donovan - Kevin Donaldson

Larry B. Scott - Rudy Tyler

Kelly Preston - Tish Ambrose

Leaf Phoenix - Max Graham

Kate Capshaw - Andie Bergstrom

Tom Skerritt - Zach Bergstrom

In the crowded halls of 1980s cinema where nostalgia reigns supreme, some films are more fondly remembered than others. 

In the case of the 1986 sci-fi adventure movie, "SpaceCamp," it's just not talked about much, if ever. I'm unsure how fondly remembered it is. Does it have any kind of following? It just doesn't get the same attention as other movies from the same period - not even as a unique thing that happened once upon a time.

It's based on an actual space camp operated by NASA in Huntsville, Alabama, which I think is still in operation today. 

"SpaceCamp's" June of 1986 theatrical release was bad timing at its worst. Just a few months before it hit theaters, the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded killing all seven crewmembers on board. I don't think NASA has been a bastion of appreciation and American pride since. But that's another topic for another time. While that tragic event isn't mentioned in the movie, I've heard it's referenced in the movie novelization. 

Anyhow, I've heard more about much worse movies from the eighties such as "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" and "Howard the Duck" than I have about "SpaceCamp" from all the nostalgia fiends I subscribe to. Then again, "SpaceCamp" probably has redeemable qualities about it compared to those movies, but who cares about that? It's way more fun to point out the worst of the worst.

In this movie, a bunch of kids are attending NASA's summer space camp in Huntsville. 

For a few weeks, they'll learn about space travel and all that other NASA stuff. 
The movie follows teenagers Kathryn Fairly (Lea Thompson), Kevin Donaldson (Tate Donovan), Rudy Tyler (Larry B. Scott), Tish Ambrose (Kelly Preston) and 12-year-old Max Graham (Joaquin Phoenix - credited as Leaf Phoenix). 

Max is obsessed with "Star Wars" and often plays out his tasks like something out of the movie. So, he naturally gravitates towards, and becomes pals with, an intelligent but faulty robot named Jinx. 

The robot was originally designed to perform work out in

space. Thanks to its consistent overheating, and the way it takes voice commands too literally, it's decommissioned and doomed to roam the halls of space camp. Naturally, Jinx and Max declare themselves to be best friends forever. 

The camp instructor is astronaut Andie Bergstrom (Kate Capshaw) who isn't very enthusiastic about being an instructor. She's frustrated that she hasn't yet been assigned to a space shuttle mission. Instead, she has to train a bunch of teenagers, and Max, how to fly around in space. 

She's married to an astronaut and the camp's director, Zach Bergstrom (Tom Skerritt), who has walked on the moon. 

Meanwhile, Kathryn has a dream to be the first female space shuttle commander. 

Kevin also has a dream which involves Kathryn. That dream only started at the beginning of the movie. So, he hits on her as soon as he arrives. 

Kathryn's dreams are put on hold for a bit when Andie makes Kevin the shuttle commander in their simulated space flights. Kevin lacks maturity and responsibility, so he gets to be commander. 

Rudy, by the way, hopes to open a fast-food restaurant out in space. And Tish has a photographic memory though she's a tried-and-true Valley girl.

The usual camp hijinks ensue, like Kevin and Kathryn sneaking out after curfew for some "star gazing."

However, Jinx the literal robot, gives them away to Andie as they're breaking curfew.

Kevin blames Max for ratting him out, though it was Jinx's fault. He snaps at Max, who takes it pretty hard. While alone pouting over Kevin being a jerk, Max wishes he could fly in space. 

Jinx overhears this and works his magic.

The campers are allowed to sit on board the Space Shuttle Atlantis with Andie during a standard engine test. Jinx goes into NASA's computer room and intentionally causes some sort of malfunction. 

This causes the shuttle engine to ignite while the teens (and Max) are on board. So as not to cause a major catastrophe, launch control is forced to ignite the other boosters and launch the shuttle into space. 

The shuttle isn't ready for space flight. It doesn't have the necessary radio power to operate in space. And the oxygen supply is limited. There's no way it'll last until re-entry. Regardless, up they go and use whatever knowledge they have to get back to earth.

When they're out in space, Andie maneuvers the shuttle towards the space station which has a supply of stored oxygen. 

Meanwhile, the kids in the shuttle try using telemetry to communicate with ground control. And Tish tries to send Morse code which ground control doesn't pick up. 

Andie exits the shuttle and tries to reach the cannisters of liquid oxygen attached to the space station. Unfortunately, she can't reach them. 

The crew need someone small enough to maneuver through the tight spaces of the station to reach the cannisters. So, they send Max. 

He almost winds up floating aimlessly in space away from the shuttle. 

After Andie saves him, Max panics at first as he tries to get the cannisters. Kevin uses the old Jedi mind trick to boost Max's confidence. This proves to be helpful, and Max obtains the oxygen. It also helps Max and Kevin bury the hatchet and be friends again.

Leaf Phoenix as Max in "SpaceCamp."

Jinx overhears this exchange between Kevin and Max, and gets really super robot-jealous. 

Distraught with a broken robot heart, he barricades himself in the computer lab and threatens to press his self-destruct button that was, for reasons perhaps explained in a deleted scene, built into his system. 

Jinx contacts the ground control crew through the computer system threatening to do himself in while expressing his undying love (or what his robot circuitry thinks is undying love) for Max. 

Jinx also tries to contact Max to tell him how much he loves him. Since communication is limited, his message can't reach Max who's floating around in space, tethered to the shuttle, trying to get some extra oxygen. 

So, Jinx pushes his self-destruct button. Fortunately, there's a malfunction...because it's NASA.

Jinx is arrested by the robot police and immediately sentenced for robot crimes against human emotion. Max hears about this while out in space and can't stand being apart from Jinx at a time he needs his buddy most. In a moment of absolute despair, Max untethers himself from the shuttle, and floats away into the abyss of space. He's surprisingly rescued by a race of aliens calling themselves Starthulians from a planet known as Drxxyisius VI. 

Their leader, Kleeborp, explains that on their planet, they have no concept of love. So, Max has to explain this and all the other outlandish, silly ways of earth. And hilarity ensues.  

Ok...I made all that up about Jinx, Max, and Kleeborp because the rest of the movie is ridiculously predictable. What really happens is that the kids are accidentally sent into space. There are problems. Death and doom are imminent. Ground control nearly locks out Max in space as they take over the shuttle by autopilot. Kevin ends up maturing real fast which lasts for about five minutes, and overrides the autopilot to save Max.

Tish's Morse code finally reaches ground control. Though the shuttle missed the window of opportunity to land at Edwards Air Force Base, Kathryn thinks they can make it by landing at White Sands in New Mexico. They're going to land there no matter what. And they do. 

"SpaceCamp" is a summer camp comedy mixed with the drama that could have easily popped out of the head of someone like John Hughes and be a space version of something like "The Breakfast Club" or some other 80s teen movie. It tries to be advanced, maybe sophisticated, as it's completely wrapped within a promotional plug for NASA. 

"SpaceCamp" wants to be taken seriously. It has a slight hint of sci-fi fantasy thanks to the inclusion of Jinx. It's also an adventure thriller, and a kid's movie, and a teen flick. 

There was a lot of potential for "SpaceCamp" but thanks to lousy dialogue and a boringly predictable premise, it takes a nosedive into the heap of seldom spoken of 80s movies. It's a story seen over and over again. 

Even with the music composed by the legend himself, John Williams, nothing really stands out in this movie except Lea Thompson from "Back to the Future" simply because she's Lea Thompson from "Back to the Future." And it's Joaquin Phoenix's second film. So, there's that.

I'm sure science and astronomy fans might find this movie interesting in some way or another. 

Tate Donovan, Lea Thompson, and Kelly Preston.

And maybe 80s nostalgia buffs fawn a little more over "SpaceCamp" than the rest of us as it has all the typical tropes of the decade. 

Lea Thompson is the cute intelligent overachiever who's there to actually be an astronaut someday. In other words, she takes her time at the camp seriously. 

Then there's the cool hot guy, Kevin, who doesn't take much seriously and has the hots for Lea Thompson.  

There's the Valley girl who's cute but not cute enough to take the lead. She's there to help make science look hip and fun, as though anybody can take on science. She spouts lines like, "Well I did this audit at GPL on Radio Astronomy; it was unbelievable! I mean can you imagine an extra-terrestrial disc jockey? I mean like listening to radio waves from space? I mean like waiting for signs of intelligence?"

Yeah! Like... total Valley girl!

Rudy is the token black guy. And Max is the dorky kid who just wants to be a part of the team while living in his own little Star Wars world. 

Finally, there's the adorable sidekick robot who becomes "friends" with that kid.

"Max and Jinx... Friends... For-e-ver."

Content-wise, there's really nothing wrong with "SpaceCamp." It has its appeal as a family movie. 

I feel like it wants to be a crazy hijinks-filled kids camp movie but also wants to tread on a more intelligent level because NASA is part of the equation. It's NASA trying to appeal to the "new generation" - totally rad and awesome science, man - while trying to be above that. 

With its timing amidst harsh opinions about NASA, there's no chance "SpaceCamp" could have been a success back in 1986. And whether it managed to gain a cult following or not since then, I honestly don't know. 

The movie just sort of exists out there as this thing that has since come and gone. 

It feels like you'd watch as part of an attraction at EPCOT Center rather than a feature film.  

At the bare minimum, it has an entertaining innocence about it as soon as the crew makes it out to space. And the actors do as good a job as they can with what they're working with. 

Otherwise, it's a dry "adventure" that doesn't offer much except a sales pitch for NASA's camp. Even that is done rather poorly and without much thought. The last thing NASA needed to attach its name to shortly after a horrific shuttle disaster is a movie about a shuttle disaster in which the lives of youth are threatened thanks to a faulty NASA robot. Well done, NASA. Wasn't there enough egg on your face already?

10) Meteor (1979)

(2.5 's out of 5)

"Shit! Five miles!"

Director
Ronald Neame

Cast
Sean Connery - Dr. Paul Bradley
Natalie Wood - Tatiana Donskaya
Karl Malden - Harry Sherwood
Brian Keith - Dr. Alexei Dubov
Martin Landau - Gen. Adlon

Henry Fonda - The President
Trevor Howard - Sir Michael Hughes
Richard Dysart - Secretary of Defense

I've been busy most of April and some of May with moving from one state to another. And now that I'm in a new state, I'm busy establishing a new life and adjusting to a new job. To make a boring personal story shorter but still just as boring, my sci-fi DVDs along with, well, all the rest of my DVDs are all packed in storage. So, I'm veering off my lineup of movies for this blog and my horror blog, 1000daysofhorror.blogspot.com. 

In the meantime, I have to take potluck...cinematically speaking. 

Case and point - "Meteor." 

This 1979 star studded sci-fi flick isn't much reminisced about in the sci-fi flick world. 

Clearly attempting to piggyback off the impressive visual effects of "Star Wars" released two years early, that's where "Meteor" strives to make a big impact of its own (no pun intended).

And when I say star-studded (again, no pun... nevermind) I mean it. Sean Connery takes the lead role as Dr. Paul Bradley. He shares the screen with Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Brian Keith, Martin Landau, Henry Fonda, and Trevor Howard. 

"Meteor" is the "Airport" of science fiction disaster movies. 

A meteor measuring five miles long is hurdling towards Earth. 

The huge meteor is a splinter created when the asteroid Orpheus is struck by a comet. Smaller fragments are also heading to Earth and are expected to cause some devastation in certain parts of the globe. But the meteor is going to make impact in just a few days. It's expected to bring about mass extinction so someone on Earth better do something or...it's all over. 

The United States does have a super-duper secret weapon - a satellite missile called "Hercules." It was created by Dr. Paul Bradley (Sean Connary) who designed it for such a global threat like a meteor. 

However, U.S. Armed Forces took over the Hercules and pointed it at the U.S.S.R. which really wasn't a smart move, all things considered. 

Unfortunately, when the meteor is discovered, and scientists start working out the calculations and details, the missiles on the Hercules won't be enough to stop it. 

The Soviet Union happens to have a weapons satellite called "Peter the Great" equipped with 16 nuclear warheads. And their satellite is pointing right at the U.S. 

Turnabout is fair play!

So, the President (Henry Fonda) goes on television and tells the nation about Orpheus and Hercules, and asks the U.S.S.R. for a joint effort in destroying the meteor before it makes impact. 

To make that happen, Dr. Bradley specifically requests Soviet scientist Dr. Alexei Dubov (Brian Keith) to head Russia's side of the effort. 

Bradley and NASA worker Harry Sherwood (Karl Malden) lead the United States' side of the plan. 

Dubov brings his interpreter, Tatiana Donskaya (Natalie Wood) to assist and create a bridge of trust among all involved. Of course, she also captures Bradley's attention. 

Once the fragments start impacting the earth, time is of the essence to destroy the huge meteor. And all the world is praying that the planet's only way out of global extinction will work. 

When it comes to disaster movies between the 1950s into the late 1970s, they normally don't involve a scenario that'll lead to global chaos and death.

Rather, they involve chaos on a smaller scale like a capsized cruise ship in "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972), or a massive fire in a high-rise office building like in "The Towering Inferno" (1974). In fact, it's worth mentioning that "Meteor" director Ronald Neame also directed the latter. 

The 1973 movie "The Crazies" centers around a man-made virus that causes permanent insanity and ultimately death, but even that is only within the confines of a small Pennsylvania town. 

Outside of Godzilla movies, and anything involving alien invasions, "Meteor" is the only movie I can think of between 1950 to 1980 where the entire earth is at risk thanks to a natural phenomenon.

"Meteor" manages to be entertaining to a point, but it's gruelingly slow and laughable at times when it clearly doesn't intend to be. The majority of the film is dialogue mixed with overly intense shots of the meteor slowly floating in space.

I'll get this remark out of the way. The effects are mostly laughable. There's no other way to put it without beating around the green screened bush. They're a mix of colored filters, stock footage (or what looks like stock footage), models, and on-set special effects.  

Fragments hit the World Trade Center, destroying it and a lot of New York City in general. When the fragments destroy the NASA facility everyone is working in to monitor the meteor, which forces survivors into the New York City subway just as the East River begins flooding it, the impact of the meteor is still 15 minutes away. The Russian and U.S. missiles are slowly making their way towards the meteor, taking their sweet time as though they're taking inspiration from Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey."

"Meteor" is heavy in the scary apocalyptic dialogue against an imposing musical score. The audience is treated to a variety of different angles of the same meteor floating towards earth in order to really drive the point home to the audience that this is the meteor of all meteors. 

The funniest parts, whether it's intended or not, occur each time Sean Connary swears. I mean it when I say Sean Connary's swearing is music to my ears. Normally, I don't care for excessive swearing for swearing's sake in movies. However, coming out of Connary's mouth makes me grin from ear to ear. In fact, I'm calling it. Connary's swearing is the best part of this movie! 
"Why don't you stick a broom up my ass? I can sweep the carpet on the way out," he says in one scene. 

The best swear scene occurs when Harry Sherwood briefs Bradley on the situation. Sherwood tells him, "That meteor is five miles wide, and it's definitely gonna hit us."

Bradley's reply is a swift and natural, "Shit!' 

It is, without a doubt, the most perfect utterance on screen of that one word in the history of film profanity. The timing and promptness behind the way Connery says it is nothing but pure, Connary-an genius! Pardon me while I wipe a single tear from my eye. 

Anyway, how about this exchange that occurs later in the film?

"I just wondered if you had taken time to eat," Tatiana asks Dr. Bradley.

"Yes, I had some coffee," he replies. 

The dialogue is something you just have to hear for yourself. 

The movie has a lot of buildup. That buildup is followed by more buildup, which is followed by even more buildup. All that buildup is so overly dramatic, it's almost entrancing. 

Sean Connary and Karl Malden in "Meteor." 

There's one colossal scene, music and all, with characters glued to their monitors as the Russian and U.S. satellites turn towards the meteor. It's not only amazingly dramatic, it's impressively silly as well. I wish I had timed how long that particular scene is.

After what seemed like 10 to 15 minutes of the most epic satellite turning I've ever seen, it just ends. The story shifts (finally) to some destruction as a splinter meteor strikes the side of a mountain at some Swiss ski town which causes a massive avalanche.

The final destruction of the five-mile-long meteor has the longest explosion and close-up of an explosion I've ever seen. It's almost hilarious.

All the realism behind the completely out-of-touch airheaded government leadership is more real than the special effects. They bumble their way around the issue completely unable to cover their hypocrisy and everyone else but themselves recognize it, particularly the Russians.  

"Meteor" is a mix of serious intensity, randomness, and very dramatic effects that I'm sure the producers must have been really proud of. It takes itself way too seriously. 

It wants to be a dramatic sci-fi spectacle. Honestly, I can't tell if it actually accomplished being the huge spectacle it intended to be or not. I laughed at all the wrong parts. And several times I uttered, "what the hell am I watching?" 

The movie does manage to entertain with all its seriousness and Connary swearing. It really tries to be a monumental sci-fi disaster movie. If it succeeds in the end, it definitely does so for completely different reasons than what the producers likely intended. Getting through it was one hell of a trip.