1) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

From the editor - I am so happy for me keeping up with my other review platforms that I decided to come up with a third one just for Sci-Fi movies. 

This time, I intend to use Gary Gerani's book "100 Sci-Fi Movies" as a reference for titles to include. I have that book along with his other books "100 Horror Movies," "100 Comic Book Movies," and "100 Fantasy Movies." I tend to refer back to those other books from time to time. But he has some great titles in his Sci-Fi list. 

Of course, I came up with a list of 40+ other Sci-Fi titles aside from Gerani's 100 Sci-Fi movie suggestions which I plan to watch for this blog. Other titles I came up with include "Flight of the Navigator" (1986), "Batteries Not Included" (1987), "Moonraker" (1979), "Last Man on Earth" (1964), "Ready Player One" (2018), "Abbott and Costello Go to Mars" (1954), "The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension" (1984) and "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" (2005)...to drop a few titles early. 

Most of them I have never seen, or I haven't seen them in years. I think that's a good start.

I also hope, sometime down the road, to work through entire Sci-Fi series such as all the "Star Trek" movies, all the original "Planet of the Apes" movies, and every episode of the "The Twilight Zone" among other franchises and such. I did something similar on my horror blog where I watched every episode of "Tales from the Crypt" and picked out my favorite episodes from each season. 

As I continue to add my thoughts on this platform, movie by movie, and build up a substantial number of pages, please read my reviews of various horror movies you forgot about, wanted to forget about, or haven't heard of yet, at 1000daysofhorror.com. 

Or, if you actually have good taste in movies and horror isn't your thing, check out my general movie reviews at dontfastforward.blogspot.com. Enjoy!

(1.5 👽's out of 5)

"We need a Santa Claus on Mars." 

Director

Nicholas Webster

Cast

John Call - Santa Claus
Leonard Hicks - Kimar
Vincent Beck - Voldar
Bill McCutcheon - Dropo
Victor Stiles - Billy Foster
Donna Conforti - Betty Foster
Chris Month - Bomar
Pia Zadora - Girmar

Doris Rich - Mrs. Claus

With Christmas coming up, this seems like the best science fiction movie to start off my 1000 days of sci-fi. 

I had the 1964 sci-fi comedy "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" on my list of holiday movie reviews for my horror platform, 1000daysofhorror.com, especially after reviewing 1959 movie "Santa Claus vs. the Devil" last December. 

But there's nothing even resembling horror in this movie. Rather, it's a complete fantasy sci-fi movie. 

Looking into this oddball flick, I found that it's considered one of the earliest movie depictions of Mrs. Claus. Woo-hoo!

I think "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" picked up some attention after it aired on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (season 3, episode 21) back in 1991. 

It's also the first movie for actress and singer, Pia Zadora. I didn't know who she was before watching this. 

Anyways, the plot is simple. 

Martian parents, Momar (Leila Martin) and Kimar (Leonard Hicks), are worried about their two unhappy Martian kids, Girmar (Pia Zadora) and Bomar (Chris Month). These kids of theirs spend too much time watching earth T.V. 

One of the programs Girmar and Bomar watch is a KIDS-TV interview with Santa Claus in his North Pole workshop on earth. 

Kimar, the patriarch of the family, is baffled as his kids aren't the only ones who are bummed out. Evidently, kids all around Mars are feeling the same way.
So, he and members of a Martian committee he's on, seek the advice of an 800-year-old wise Martian named Chochem (Carl Don). He knows that all Martian children are way too distracted by the rigid way of life Martians practice. They have no time to be Martian children. They're shaped and molded and forced to grow up practically as soon as they're born.

Cochem says he has seen this problem coming for centuries. Now, it's here. 

John Call plays Santa in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians."

To help them, children should have time to be children, enjoy their childhood, and not be forced to grow up so fast. In other words, let children be children. 

This seems to clear things up. The solution is simple. Mars needs a Santa Claus. 

Kimar and the other Martian leaders head to Earth to kidnap Santa and use him to spread cheer to all the Martian children Mars-wide. 

When the aliens get to Earth, they see a lot of people dressed as Santa. They can't figure out who's the real jolly ol' fat man. 

The world, meanwhile, is aware the aliens have arrived. The armed forces prepare for a fight. And the press is all over it. 

While roaming to find the real Santa, the aliens run into young Billy Foster (Victor Stiles) and his little sister, Betty Foster (Donna Conforti). 

They ask these kids why there are so many Santa's running around, and where the real one is. So, the kids tell them. 

And to ensure the kids don't go squealing to the authorities about seeing Martians looking for Santa, they kidnap the children, too. 

By the way, one of the Martians, Voldar (Vincent Beck), is against the idea of bringing Santa to Mars as he thinks his presence will corrupt the Mars youth. 

There's tension between Kimar and Voldar, which leads to Voldar later creating an opposing faction against Kimar. 

Anyways, Kimar and his alien crew find Santa in his workshop and take him, and Foster kids, back to Mars. 

Back on Mars, they create a toy factory for Santa to make toys solely through machines. No elves. Santa just has to press buttons to manufacture toys. It sounds easy but it's just not the same. Machines can make mistakes. Elves don't. 

Voldar thinks Santa and Christmas will lead to nothing good for Martian children. He tries to sabotage the entire operation by sending his goons, Stobo (Al Nesor) and Shim, to mess up the toy machine. 

Meanwhile, Billy and Betty do what they can to put a monkey wrench into the Martian's plans. But Santa just goes along with it, willing to spread his Christmas joy to children Mars wide. 

Kimar's dopey assistant, Dropo (Bill McCutcheon), has taken a liking to Santa and the kids. He tries on his red suite and puts on a white beard to play Santa. He even goes to the toy factory to make toys just like Santa. 

Voldar mistakes Dropo for the real Santa and kidnaps him in an attempt to prevent his Christmassy influence. He then takes him to a cave and holds him captive.

But the real Santa, along with Billy and Betty, return to the toy factory to make some more toys. 

Thanks to the shenanigans of Stobo and Shim, the toys are coming out mixed up and undeliverable. 

Voldar returns to the toy shop only to find the real Santa. He then realizes he screwed up. 

Dropo manages to escape his captives and Voldar realizes the jig is up. 

When Santa sees Dropo in his outfit, he thinks Dropo would make a great Santa for the Mars children. 

Thankfully, Kimar agrees with Santa and at the pleas of his wife, returns Santa and the Foster kids back to earth. 

Despite how saccharine sweet, sentimental and campy the movie is, that doesn't make the general storyline a terrible one. 

The plot flows smoothly, to the movie's credit. 

But the writing seems rushed and lacking effort here and there. It's as though the writers were forced to work on this film against their will, and wanted to get through some parts as fast as they could. Or,

Vincent Beck as Voldar

maybe they just have a dry sense of humor. 

When Voldar and his crew visit the wise one, Chochem asks them what time of year it is on Mars. "Septober." Really? That's the best writers could come up with. 

Otherwise, I don't know what to say about this movie. The acting is scripted. It's definitely a movie for its day - the atomic age. It's over the top and pandering to children, but it's innocent. 

While watching this, the actor playing Dropo looked really familiar. I couldn't place where I had seen him before. So, I had to Google the actor's name, Bill McCutcheon. It unlocked a long-forgotten memory. 

McCutcheon played "Uncle Wally" on Sesame Street from 1984 to 1992. He's a character I had long forgotten about...until now. 

To its credit, as the movie is paced pretty well, all things considered, it doesn't have a slow or dull moment. 

Sure, it's ridiculous but innocence is practically gone in today's children's movies. How often are kid's movies rated G these days? The answer is...hardly ever. 

I think that helps make it awkward to watch. Modern audiences aren't used to such innocence. Even so, it's way to sickeningly sweet and sappy. And Santa is driven a little too much by jolly good feelings over common sense. He gives his alien captures way too much credit. Even Billy claims he doesn't trust them, and rightly so. But Santa rebukes him saying that's not in keeping with the Christmas spirit. What is wrong with you, Santa? Common sense much?

With the premise that even Mars needs Christmas, the story skirts around the religious purpose of Christmas - Christ's birth. It seems to head in that direction when Santa wants to bring Christmas to Mars, but doesn't quite get there intentionally. It's actually kind of funny. 

The movie hasn't aged well and is funny for all the wrong reasons which producers probably didn't intend. Santa doesn't actually conquer any Martians. Rather, he goes along with their scheme, until they willingly return him back to the North Pole. Billy and Betty put up much more of a fight than Santa. 

Still, it's a trip to watch, even if just for the right to claim, "I watched a movie about Santa Claus conquering Martians."